“Just A Day” essay Deciphering and decoding Dylan’s writing.
People seem to believe that the essay ‘Just A Day’ was authored by Eric. This notion seems to stem from the belief that the document was found on Eric’s computer. In actuality, it wasn’t. Instead, it’s Item 871 located on Klebold School Server Files [see end of this post]. However, even if it was a document found on Eric’s computer or his school file server, as most people have thought in the TCC, I still would not believe it was authored by Eric Harris Every single time I’ve ever read through this essay trying to remain impartial, I can not help but feel that it is distinctly Dylan’s personality characteristics and idiosyncrasies that we’ve seen patterns of in his style of writings and school work. The earmark clues are all there in the grammar syntax and the use of sophisticated vocabulary inconsistently peppered with lazy shortcut ampersands and dollar-sign censored expletives. Eric would never dare to use expletives in a school assignment. He knew better than to intentionally add bad language which could risk him a lower grade. Eric dutifully abided by the teacher’s rules. On the other hand, Dylan was a bit of a slacker rebel when it came to stuff like this. He didn’t much respect his high school or its’ rules and he occasionally flouted them when/where he could. The clues are also present in his disdainful superiority of the vapid bourgeoisie suburbanites. How he sees the overly domesticated society almost like a pollution infringing upon the eternal, omnipresent beauty that is nature as spoiling his momentary serenity.
So, let’s begin dissecting this essay, revealing 20 stand-out clues which I feel confirm that ‘Just a day’ belongs to Dylan in heart and soul:
1) “They (our fishing trips) were always preempted (planned in advance), never extemporaneously (randomly)..”
Here we see the use of sophisticated language and complex almost archaic, old-fashioned syntax such as:
‘Prempted’ meaning ‘acquire or appropriate (something) in advance’ ‘Extemporaneously’ meaning spur-of-the-moment, impromptu, without planning.
2) “brought out by my father before his intended day of relaxation.”
Here you can see the proper address of ‘Father’ rather than ‘Dad’. Dylan opts for formal rather than casual. Conversely, I tend to think Eric might prefer to use the latter. In scanning through some of Eric’s work, this rings true.
The odd, sophomoric, antiquated use of ‘brought out’ combined with the intellectually stilted “intended day of relaxation’. I have to say it almost sounds a bit like mid-eighteenth century Byronic writing! Well, okay, maybe more like Dylan Thomas. 😉
I will also add in here [even though not numbered] that…
“a barrage of arguments *& pouting”
this wording tends to sound very intellectually posh. It doesn’t at all sound like something Eric would come up with. Besides, Eric would never admit to ever pouting: real men don’t do eat quiche or pout. 😉
3) “This was a good thing, as opposed to getting up for school”
Dylan loathed school; he didn’t want to be there ever. Apart from the fact that he was on the defense in the toxic, clique-y environment, there was nothing engaging for him academically. By contrast, Eric liked school because he enjoyed learning – however, he hated homework. He mentions this in his “Know What I Have/Love” list.
4) “or some other bulls*St.”
Dylan had a nasty, passive-aggressive habit of adding couched expletives in his essays. Again, it’s an amusing juxtaposition to all the other sophisticated manner of speaking in the rest of his essay! He kind of ruins everything else about his beautiful writing when he does this. So, inconsistently, rebelliously him! Another instance of the literary self-sabotaging that landed him a written reprimand from his Creative Writing teacher was his infamous ‘Man in Black’ essay written not weeks before the massacre. His teacher compliments his writing abilities and then proceeds to admonish him at the bottom of the essay that ‘I am offended by the use of profanity. In class we had discussed the approach of using * ! * !.”
5) and *6) “black skies *& coffee bean aromas.I never liked coffee, but I loved the smell.”
Again, simple but effective sorts of descriptors which sensorial picture paint the mood and setting. In that little snapshot, you can just imagine what that would look like as well as the smell of that early morning. Dylan was very astute at setting a mood and atmosphere in his writing style. You can see how gifted he is at describing a setting here in his gunpowder essay. You just feel like you are there experiencing everything with your five senses.
* Instead of typing out ‘and’ he opts for the lazy “&” ampersand. There are quite a few peppered throughout the doc. All his sophistication at the start of his doc goes out the window with each of his lackadaisical shortcut ‘&’.
7)“I would dine on fancy breakfast cuisine, otherwise known as Cocoa Puffs”
A dash of tongue-in-cheek wit with an oxymoron contrast. It’s a playful humor poking fun of his younger, unsophisticated self in happier memories. It’s also reminiscent of his playful sense humor in the cards he gave to Devon Adams.
8) “I always remember my brother trying to impress everyone, and myself thinking what a waste of time that would be.”
This is a bit of a salty, arrogant dig against a brother. It speaks of sibling competitiveness while simultaneously implying that he is above competing for people’s attention.
We know that both boys had older brothers which were much more socially outgoing with people. Of the two boys, Eric looked up to his brother and was known to be supportive of his football games. Still, I’m sure there was the sort of jealousy there for living in the successful shadow of his brother. I honestly don’t ever see Eric taking snooty pot shots at his brother, least of all in a school essay which might be read to the class.
Dylan, on the other hand, was gifted and naturally just ‘impressed’ with his advanced abilities. But perhaps Dylan was jealous that Byron was good with people and managed to naturally ‘impress them’ and win them over with charisma and woo. If that’s the case, Dylan is justifying his lacking in the arena of social skills since he was usually never inadequate at anything else academically speaking. So, here, he prefers to view all of that as jumping through hoops trying to please and win people over and that it’s just a vapid waste of time trying to define oneself by impressing others rather than just simply being who you are and not caring what people think. Winning people over as perhaps Byron naturally did with most people he came in contact with is relegated to simply “a waste of time” by Dylan.
9) and *10) “The drives up to the mountains was always peaceful, *a certain halcyon hibernating within the tall peaks & the armies of pine trees.”
He describes the trips as enjoyable because nature provides an automatic sense of calmness for him. It’s easy to understand when his mental chatter was constantly going all of the time. You could say that being out in nature and suspended in total quiet, soothed his mind and soul. Again, he describes what he is visually experiencing while on the trips up into the mountains in a concise yet, very vivid manner which makes you easily envision it easily.
10) A who else uses the word ‘halcyon’ but Mr. Dylan Klebold? It is his signature word of which he uses repeatedly in his journal. This is a deal breaker for me. Why isn’t it for most people that have read this essay and assumed it’s Erics? ‘a certain halcyon hibernating’ quite a poetically romantic description….
Eric, by contrast, would tend to describe things in a prosaic, very direct manner. By contrast, his writing approach is more action-oriented rather than ‘stop and smell the roses’ reflective.
11)“It seems back then that when the world changed, these mountains would never move. They would remain at peace with themselves and with anyone who would respect them.”
The world changes and advances yet, the mountains remain unalterably everlasting and majestic. Those that trespass but respect these timeless, constant monuments reap the peace and tranquility that is their silent secret.
12)“The lake is almost vacant, except for a few repulsive suburbanite a$$holes.”
Dylan censors an expletive to describe the artificial humanity infringing upon a near pristinely vacant lake.
13) “I never liked those kinds of people. They always seemed to ruin the serenity of the lake.”
No doubt altering the mood of the natural environment with their massive campers, garbage, and noise (and grill) pollution. Once they start to trickle in, the lake begins to lose the still and pure quality that Dylan enjoys witnessing – without having to share it with others who are undeserving of it for lacking in respect.
13) continued… “I loved the water. I never went swimming, but the water was an escape in itself”
Gazing into the water was a way for his mind to figuratively swim elsewhere..and to escape from the troubles of everyday life.
14) “Instead, I went with a lour, even though this was a lake.”
He misspelled ‘lure’ for a fishing lure. Generally, it seems as though he has at least one or two errors in his work. Even his college application letter, which should have been thoroughly proofed and error-free, had a glaring mistake with it’s rather amusing use of a veeeery wrong word. 😉
15) “Cast, reel, etc countless times, and my mind would wander to wherever it would want to go. Time seemed to stop whenever I was fishing.”
Again, you can see that the act of doing something repetitive, out in nature, in an absolute quiet, helped to provide a meditative state for Dylan. Time would become suspended and his mind would transport to where he happily wished to be.
16) and 17) “The lake, the mountains, the trees, all the wildlife *s$*t that people seemed to take for granted, was here.”
The mindful appreciation of the natural world goes unappreciated by most people other than himself. 17) Typical Dylan to ironically sum it up as ‘wildlife s$*t in an cavalier, irreverent fashion even though his point is that no one reveres it as only he can. Again, if we can assume that this is an essay written for school (can’t really get what else it might’ve been created for?), he clearly knows that using profanity is a no-no yet, he passive-aggressively slips it in the essay anyway along with those wildcard characters.
And for humor sake, let’s not forget how he started off this essay using lofty words such as ‘Extemporaneously’ and has no progressed..digressed? to a much different tone by the end of the essay.
18) “It was (as) if their presence was necessary for me to be content.”
I feel as though he forgot to put in ‘as if’ in this sentence. But again, he’s stressing that the breathtaking visuals surrounding him were integral to him finding a sense of contentment. A rare state of being for a Dylan.
19)“Time to go!. Done, Back to society. No regrets, though.”
You’d think most teenage dudes returning from a fishing trip might write it this way: “well, time to go back home! But so worth it!” Dylan rather perceives it more lamentingly like ‘time to go back to (the) society’…yes, back to the artificial world, with all of the humanity’s stupid system and rules. Though, maybe I’m just inferring a bit much here.. lol
However, ‘No regrets though’. For all the hullabaloo of getting up at the crack of dawn, and traveling out that way out into the precious, perfect solitude of nature – so well worth the time spent. No regrets! but instead, fond memories of the spiritual commune with Mountain Gods of nature.
20)“Nature shared the secret serenity with someone who was actually observant enough to notice. Sucks for everyone else.”
Others come out here to just do bunch of stuff out while out in a natural. Pitch a tent, crank up the BBQ, drinking beer and make a lot of noise chattering much a do about nothing. Nature is irrelevant to the suburbanites. As oppose to Dylan, who is there to commune with nature while pensively fishing. In his mindful appreciation, Nature shares a gift of ‘secret serenity’ – his attaining contentment in solitude for a few hours that feel like a state of foreverness. Nobody else gleans the obvious while out in nature but he. For they are too busy to notice.
Here is where this essay was found by Jeffco. If I’ve not persuaded you enough above, then this should be the deal breaker that ‘Just a Day’ belongs to none other than…Mr. Dylan Klebold
p.s. Honestly, just between you and me, I would so love to see all of those 28 essays of Dylan’s that were found on Eric Harris’s computer. Read the source. 😉
Why do so many school shooters kill themselves at the end of a rampage? You are looking for logic here. There is no logic in the mind of someone whose brain chemistry is so distorted that it seeks explosion (homicides) and implosion (suicide) to allay the internal pain and torment. Working with suicidal teens for many years, their inability and immature brain functioning does not think past the act towards finality. It only seeks to alleviate the intense pain and/or propulsion towards fulfilling their needs. Consider a school shooter whose basic drive is for significance verses someone who chooses to become president out of the need for significance. Each has the same goal with a different set of values and morals.
Nothing changed after 13 people were killed at Columbine, or 33 at Virginia Tech, or 26 at Sandy hook. Each of those tragedies came with the same breaking news coverage as Columbine, but none generated the same sense of action because fewer and fewer people actually believed things could change. The last 15 years have been a lesson in how “never again” can be cowed into “I need a drink.”
And that’s insane. It’s an insane thing to have to accept that problem as an inevitability. It’s an insane reality to have to shrug off.
Columbine 