aoleetd00d:

I will be attempting the intricate, complex process of analysing and dissecting Dylan Klebold’s journal. To preface this, however, please be aware that these are my interpretations, and reflect nobody else’s. 

Given that this entry was written 3.31.97, we’re already aware of the fact that Dylan was fifteen. Sue mentions that Dylan first mentions suicide two years prior to his death, as evidenced by the quote, “I don’t fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope[…]”. Whilst we aren’t entirely sure who initially thought of NBK, nor when NBK was first thought of, it can be inferred from the passive suicidal ideation Dylan was experiencing that it wasn’t quite on the roll. 

The structure of this entry suggests and insinuates a disorganised, chaotic and distorted thought process, given the lack of flow in some areas. There’s excessive punctuation where it isn’t required, therefore giving the entry a stutter-esque feeling. This just goes to show and convey the disorganised, chaotic nature of Dylan’s thoughts, whilst the lack of punctuation in other areas reinforces Dylan’s inability to “stop thinking”. The excessive use of dashes and ellipses creates elongated pauses, thus conveying Dylan’s contemplative character and depicting his thoughtfulness—as though his mind is wandering, perhaps? 

Within this entry is seems as though Dylan’s sadness, isolation and anxieties are already manifesting into anger at the inequalities created by the social hierarchy. Something that sticks out to me, personally, is the quote, “[…] not getting drunk for periods of time…” as this goes to show Dylan’s need of escapism, and the fact he’s dealt with it in such a destructive manner goes to show his inability to process and verbalise his emotions, given that his parents raised him to be self-reliant and whatnot. Characteristics of depression are already decipherable within this entry, given that he feels ostracised and excluded from everyone else; as though he’s on the outside looking in.  

Later, as I worked investigating the story and its aftermath I was one of only about half-dozen reporters who reviewed the home movies videotaped by the killers. Those tapes are now sealed by the court. They showed two very disturbed young men who had descended into the depths of self loathing. These two teens hated themselves and so many others. They laughed at their parents for not checking their rooms and the Harris’s garage where so many of the deadly bombs were made. They laughed and joked about how many they would murder. It was clear throughout that the killers were equally responsible for the attack. The home videos undercut the myth that Harris was the leader and Klebold the follower.

In watching the two, talking about their attack, showing off their weapons, and suiting up for the assault it was so clear they had divorced themselves from the reality of the murders they were about to commit. I found that the most terrifying moment of the video was when Harris fondled his sawed-off shotgun like a demented child with a new toy. At one point Klebold was playing with the shotgun trying to close the slide with a round hung in the chamber. Harris was videotaping and the viewer could see the gun pointed directly at the camera as Klebold struggled with it.

Harris cried out in alarm knowing the shotgun could go off.

It could have killed him.

I caught myself watching … tense, wide-eyed, in-the-moment … wishing it had.

John Ferrugia’s Reporter Notebook

Columbiners Discord Chat

So, I went ahead and created this because reactions to the idea have been very positive since I put that thought out there last night!

What are you talking about, mama dragon?

A real, fabulous, completely live-and-kicking chat! For all of you – an open invite to a Discord server where you can chat with fellow Columbiners, talk shop with researchers, ask questions, discuss Columbine and other true crime cases, unwind after a long day, talk about personal stuff, and get to know each other a little better!

Okay, cool, but what is Discord? (Skip this if you know the drill, or laugh at my explanation.. your choice! 😉 )

Discord is a free voice and text chat that was originally designed for gamers but also sees a lot of fandom-related activities and other things on its servers today. Creating an account there is simple and will only take a few moments of your time.

You can use Discord on desktop and on mobile! It’s far more stable than programs like Skype, in my opinion, and has some really nifty features. And if you’re worried about missing out on anything when you’re busy, don’t be: you can always read what was said in your absence. ^^

Great! How do I join?

Message me for an invite!

I will send you a link that will take you to the invitation page from which you can either join straight away if you already have a Discord account or create a brand new account and then join in the fun. (Make sure to verify your e-mail first, though! Also note that we have a 10-minute timeout for any new members that join up.)

Hope to see you say “hello” sometime!

Any questions, comments, worries, whatever-else-comes-to-mind?

Drop me an ask! (Or message me through Tumblr’s IM system, it’s all good.)

You are not alone
No one is alone

for all your yesterdays we can share,
for all your todays we now miss,
for all your tomorrows and tomorrows and tomorrows,
that tell us ‘there was something more than this’.

for all the times without you, and all the times your loved ones shared with you. for the good you’re remembered by, and for the bad that lay claim to your lives. to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, in loving memory.

thank you for making me feel less alone in my own deepest, darkest wood.

fri-fucking-daynight:

“The pain multiplies infinitely. never stops. Yet im here, STILL alone, still in pain.”

What Is Dabrowski’s Emotional Overexcitability of Gifted Children?

This might seem like an odd choice to post here, but I assure you there is method to my madness. For a moment, please consider reading this article with Dylan Klebold in mind. I theorised some years ago that Dylan may have been gifted, based off the little information we had at the time, and Sue Klebold’s recent stories have only fortified my belief in the theory. This article talks about one of the biggest hallmarks of gifted children (and links you to the other hallmarks and interesting accurate information about giftedness, too!) and gives a global overview of some of the behaviours you might see in them as a result.

When we take this and re-contextualise this into Dylan’s part of the story, what does this mean for how we see him? What insight can we glean from this information?

What Is Dabrowski’s Emotional Overexcitability of Gifted Children?

“What happened between that day when they
were sweet smiling kids to the two calculated killers that walked into
the building? What happened to their lives? That’s the thing that’s so
difficult for us to understand is what creates this mind set of these
killers?”

Frank DeAngelis said the perception that the two killers were “outcasts” and “disenfranchised from society” is wrong.

“They were two well educated men, two calculated killers. They were very smart. They were in advanced level classes.

“They did not wake up on the 20th and say we’re going to blow up the
school or kill kids. This is something that they had made detailed plans
off for over a year. Their intent was never to come into the school and
shoot kids. Their intent was to place two propane tanks and blow up the
school at the busiest time in which 700 people would be in the area and
the students who did escape and run out of the school would be shot.

“It
wasn’t a successful shooting, it was a failed bombing. They were
calculated and they knew once they went into the building they were
never going to walk out.”

Frank said in a time where there are gun
shootings all across the world, we should be talking about mental
health instead of gun control.

rebdomine-rebismine:

Son of a Gun and Sunshine boy

My Conversations with Sue Klebold

I promised myself I would no longer promote Peter Langman’s work as much, but this was too good an article to pass up because he speaks of the times he talked with Sue Klebold here. It’s a nice window into the other side of her conversations, which she does describe in her book as well.

We spoke a second time a few weeks later. We talked about my view of
Dylan and his psychological decline. She said that she was not hurt by
anything I had written, but the whole process of looking at him through
the lens of psychology was stirring up a lot of feelings. She talked
about her feelings of guilt for
not having recognized what he was going through or having been able to
“save” her son. I tried to reassure her that children with good parents
often face struggles that do not seem to make sense in the face of their
outward circumstances. For example, I know many people whose children
took their own lives—not because of how their parents treated them but
in spite of how much their parents loved them.

I remember reading years ago about a brief encounter Sue had with
someone who said in effect, “I just want you to know that I forgive
you.” Sue responded along the lines of, “I haven’t done anything for
which I need your forgiveness.” Though some people saw that as an attempt to evade responsibility, I was impressed by her moral clarity. She did not kill anyone. She
was not responsible for Columbine. Nonetheless, she has agonized daily
about what she did and didn’t do as a parent. When I reminded Sue of her
comment to the woman who “forgave” her, she became choked up. She said
she tries to hold onto that clarity but it is very difficult.

My Conversations with Sue Klebold

mansonfamilyvevo:

“I know it would have been better for the world if Dylan had never been born. But I believe it would not have been better for me.” —Sue Klebold

Daytime Exclusive: Columbine Killer’s Mom Sue Klebold Takes You Inside the Life of Dealing With a Mentally Ill Child

thedogdaysuniverse:

New teaser for Sue’s interview w. Dr. Oz

Daytime Exclusive: Columbine Killer’s Mom Sue Klebold Takes You Inside the Life of Dealing With a Mentally Ill Child

“In junior high, he told me, it wasn’t cool to be smart.”

everlasting-contrast:

matrixal-cancer666:

-Sue Klebold, on her son Dylan

😕

In my personal experience.. having been one of those kids and having worked with those kids.. that quote is a dead giveaway for a gifted kid to have said in junior high/high school. It’s often the conclusion that is drawn after some months or years of observing their peers around them. From that conclusion often follows a decision: acting out or fitting in. In the case of the latter, “fitting in” becomes synonymous with “dumbing yourself down”. Dylan showcases quite a few signs of gifted children so far. I can only imagine that Sue’s book would fill in the blanks enough for me to definitely say yes/no to the question if he was gifted or not.

Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine school shooter, on living with the legacy of mass murder

rebvodka-closet-admirers:

The CBC Radio interview from this morning! If you haven’t heard it…it’s amazing! She also talks about his funeral and having time with dylan’s body before the funeral….heartbreaking stuff.

Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine school shooter, on living with the legacy of mass murder

columbinecollective:

New footage of Dylan Klebold

The pain and sadness of a Columbine killer’s mother – BBC News

thedogdaysuniverse:

Getting ready for the next interview! Monday 22.30, BBC Newsnight. Longer version Friday night. Hope it will be uploaded as well.

The pain and sadness of a Columbine killer’s mother – BBC News

wine-and-vodka:

Dylan with Sue

Diane Sawyer Discusses Her Exclusive Interview With Mother of Columbine Killer

crypticteacup:

columbinekillers:

I literally just found this online and it turns out it was on TV almost two hours ago. we need to be alerted of these things 

“I think one of the things that will stun you is you’re going to go back and see her journals that she was writing, and she was writing it in the summer that he was also writing journals, and she was writing about adolescent phases (adolescent PHASES); she’s writing about his happy times; he is writing about suicidal depression. He is writing about not being able to go on. He is writing about the fact that he will never find happiness in his life, so what is the point.”

MY FUCKING HEART IS TEARING OPEN. WHY.

Diane Sawyer Discusses Her Exclusive Interview With Mother of Columbine Killer