If only all the info on the case was as neatly indexed as it is in We Are But We Aren’t Psycho..

so when eric said ”why can t i get any?” he meant date for prom or a woman with whom he had sex.

The exact quote from his journal is

“Right now I’m trying to get fucked and trying to finish off these time bombs. NBK came quick. why the fuck cant I get any? I mean, I’m nice and considerate and all that shit, but nooooo. I think I try to hard. but I kinda need to considering NBK is closing in.”

In other words, the kid was desperately trying to get laid! He tried to get a date from prom, too, which backfired on him like crazy. He did end up having a very nice date with Susan, but during that he was the perfect gentleman. He didn’t push Susan into anything sexual, which may seem a little odd concerning this ‘desperate’ journal quote from early April. It’s my belief that he did really crave the sexual connection, but that he also wanted to remain respectful of the girl he was with and have someone with him to connect with emotionally as well. Eric needed the companionship and acceptance more than he did anything else. (Although I’m pretty sure there was a fuckload of sexual frustration in the picture as well, haha.)

Like if he went to bitches or try to pay a woman for that , i do not know. If he actually tried to have sex, like started touching a girl on her boobs, and so.

vanesacristiana:

Ok……. Crunchydragon , please help me with this one:))

But before(to not be rude with this anon who stalks me on tumblr and put me kinky questions, lmfao): 

1. From what I know, there is no evidence showing any of the things you have mentioned above.

2. If he really went to that point, I think he would have actually made it.

3. I do not believe he was that kind of man, but who knows, a lot of things go through teenage minds, maybe it had crossed his mind, but you know, he was very educated.

1. Eric says “no, not really” to the question “do you mind paying for sex?” in that nifty little question list he did, but there is absolutely no indication in anything we have of his or any other piece of evidence that he ever went and did something like that.

2. One of the things on the ‘to do’-lists prior to NBK was still ‘get laid’. 😉

3. The last date he had with Susan ended up with him putting his arm around her and kissing her on the cheek. I think Eric was very respectful of the girls he liked. At this point, we’re not even sure if he ever properly kissed a girl at all!

In essence..

have you read somewhere if eric tried to have sex and how?

vanesacristiana:

Wow, I see that you guys are very interested in eric’s sex life. Well, I have read on other blogs that he might have tried but I do not know how. Be more explicit or try to ask another columbiner: elsa, dragonrampant, rebdomine. 

This is not going to end well, is it? (Seriously, though, COME AT ME. I never get asked this kind of stuff, haha.)

Columbiners know nothing about Columbine.

he-draws-hearts-on-my-skin:

Just a bunch of immature, whiny teenagers trying to be edgy.

Do you think they ever argued?? What do you think they would have argued about?

There are some minor accounts of them arguing, but I seem to recall that the arguments never really lasted long. I think they were minor differences at best. Maybe they argued, as most friends do, about pop culture as much as they argued about some details in NBK. (I always seem to envision this as Dylan going “dude, chill” in the way he did with that minor car crash Eric got so worked up about and Eric ranting angrily about something. xD)

Thing is that Dylan had quite a few other friends and yet stuck with unpredictable Eric throughout it all. Thing is that Eric poisoned every friendship he had going for him except the friendship with Dylan. Eric, as we know him, got impatient with people and took rejection/criticism very heavily.. Dylan, as we know, was hard to get to know and quite private in his thoughts/feelings. Yet, their friendship worked. Even minor petty arguments that would’ve possibly been dealbreakers in any other friendship didn’t matter here.

This is really the main reason why I’m so damn upset we don’t have the basement tapes. I would give anything to be able to see their friendship dynamic in action when it’s just the two of them in a room together. It’d speak volumes about the way they were with each other.

eviltwinblog:

thedragonrampant:

Just checking in with a quick question here.. Who would like to read the full narrative reconstruction of the events on 4/20 as written in Tim Krabbe’s “We Are But We Aren’t Psycho”? (Reason I’m asking? Thing’s a little over twenty pages long and translation of this and some of its annotations will take a while!)

*raises hand*

only if it’s better than Cullen’s reconstruction though

I don’t think it can get much worse than Cullen? xD Krabbé actually takes the time to describe what went on in the library and has visibly checked and cross-checked all information available. His narrative reads the way a novel would (not surprising given his background as an author), but there’s always the underlying current of realism. Interesting tidbit I noticed this morning is that he doesn’t put the “are you still with me?” at the start of the library shooting, but rather at the very end of it..

Looks like I’ll be translating during the weekend, then!

How different do you think things would have been if Eric and Dylan didn’t kill innocent people and killed the people who picked on them instead?? I know it’s wrong to say that people might have been more sympathetic and understanding if they had just killed the bullies, but I do feel like less people would have hated Eric and Dylan if that’s how it went down.

I don’t think that it would have made a huge difference who they picked as victims. Every single person inside that school that day was caught in a crossfire they had no business being involved in, because the actions of the two boys were very disproportionate responses concerning an utter inability to correctly handle their emotions and their thoughts and their experiences in society.

In my opinion, nothing justifies the violent taking of a human life. It is not our place to decide who lives and who dies. The act of bullying, however awful and hurtful it is, does not fit the ‘punishment’ of losing one’s life. These bullies are still somebody’s child, somebody’s loved one, somebody’s greatest joy. Taking their lives away does not affect the bullies, but it sure as hell affects the people who give a shit about them.

The murderer may come up with a million justifications in their own mind for the atrocious act they commit, but that does not mean that we as human beings cannot be deeply morally critical of it despite our possible feelings of sympathy and understanding for the set of circumstances that created the murderer.

Just checking in with a quick question here.. Who would like to read the full narrative reconstruction of the events on 4/20 as written in Tim Krabbe’s “We Are But We Aren’t Psycho”? (Reason I’m asking? Thing’s a little over twenty pages long and translation of this and some of its annotations will take a while!)

Did Jen ever reply back to that letter though? What happened with her? Was she one of his classmates?

I don’t think she ever replied, and I’m not even sure if Eric ended up giving it to her. (Does anyone else know?) This particular Jen (her last name is Laufenberg) did not go to school with him, but was a slightly older coworker of his at Tortilla Wraps. I’m not sure what she’s up to now or where she lives or stuff like that, but there are some recent pictures of her floating around the web somewhere.

I wish I could have a friendship as strong as the one Eric and Dyl had with each other :(

It’s a pretty special one, isn’t it? I’ve often marvelled at the level of trust that was in that friendship. I’d like to have something like that, too, but without the whole killing people thing. 😉

What religions did their families believe in??

Dylan had Jewish ancestry in his line through his mother’s side, but had a Lutheran funeral service. He does mention the Jewish feast of Passover in the basement tapes as something his parents ‘were going to’. I would hazard a guess and say that his parents ‘experimented’ in finding the right place of worship. (I believe Brooks Brown or Dave Cullen mention something along those lines in their book, too.)

Eric’s family was probably Christian, although I don’t precisely know their denomination. They don’t seem to have been overtly religious.

I feel like Eric did attempt to reach out to people on many occassions. Mostly just girls he wanted to get involved with, but still haha. Like that letter to Jen.. Oh my *clutches heart* I’m usually not the type to swoon over everything Eric and Dyl do, but that letter was the sweetest thing. He was such a private person yet really open at the same time?? Idk. It’s obvious that he just wanted to be cared about and mean something to someone :( but in the end, I guess that’s what we all want.

He did attempt to reach out on several occasions, but the most noteable for me has to be through his diversion paper. He knew those were the people who could actually get him some real professional help, so he attempted to reach out that way. (It is one of the greatest flaws in the system that the help he received was not very helpful at all..)

The letter was sweet, but at the same time it was also self-ruining. On one hand, he’s being really nice and complimentary.. and on the other, he says stuff like “I’ve never been good at ‘flirting’ or even just talking” and “if you don’t (wanna go out) just don’t say anything [..] I’ll understand, I’m used to it”. Poor boy’s setting himself up for disappointment before she’s even had a chance to reply! He’s not nearly as bad as Dylan with the letter-thing, though. I think that it took a lot for both to be able to open up to anyone and say how they feel, and because they didn’t feel good about themselves they ruined the little chances they had..

It’s really obvious that what both of them needed was a really strong support system that had an unconditional form of care/love going on inside it. I think that’s what all of us need, in the end, and it’s a pity both of them felt like they did not have this.

Do you think Eric and Dylan would like how the world is today?

I think they’d love all the technological advancements and pop culture stuff like the movies we have now.. I think they’d be positively surprised at some of it and appalled by other parts of it. (I remain convinced that their blogs/videos would be the best things on the internet if their teenage selves were somehow transported into the here and now. xD Just imagine! We could have part two of Radioactive Clothing and endless angry rants and so much funny shit..)

On the other hand, I think they’d be really annoyed by the stupidity that runs rampant everywhere nowadays. I don’t think we’d necessarily give them more faith in the continued existence of humanity! We’re fifteen years on from NBK and I don’t think we’ve done much to become more tolerable in that time. 😉 I don’t think they’d like it any more than they liked the world back then.

You obviously don’t know the REAL answer to this, but if something could have stopped Eric…. what do you think it would have been? Same question for Dylan. I ask separately because if only one of them didn’t want to do it anymore do you think he would have convinced the other out of it too??

I don’t really know if there is anything that could have stopped them. Certainly not by the time ‘98 rolled around, although I suspect that they were on a fast track to NBK before then.

For Eric, nothing short of a move out of state would’ve halted him. Taking him out of Littleton would have been the only thing I suspect would have held him back long enough for him to get some positive feelings/experiences back if the place he moved to was more welcoming and accepting. He should never have been taken away from New York/Michigan in the first place.

For Dylan, it’s a little harder to pinpoint. He was good at fooling a lot of people about what was really going on inside his head, so I doubt anyone would’ve caught on enough to send him to a constructive form of therapy. Perhaps if he’d gotten ‘the great love’ he longed for, although I suspect that it wouldn’t have lasted and he would’ve gone off the deep end after any break-up.. I actually don’t know what would’ve stopped Dylan from killing himself, although I suspect that he would’ve been stopped from killing others without Eric’s presence.

I don’t think that they would’ve been able to talk each other out of it. They were in this together, tied in together, and every time one wavered the other pulled him back in. They kept each other focused and on-track. I suspect that they really tested the waters for a long time and that the idea didn’t even become so real to them until the day they actually did it. People always call these two ‘the perfect storm’ for a reason: one is nothing without the other. They were in this conviction, this idea, this life together. They had a level of trust in each other you almost never see in people’s relationships. It’s the reason why I suspect that if they’d been stopped somehow before the day itself, they’d be sitting side-by-side in a bar right now laughing about the time they’d wanted to blow up their old school. Those two, I don’t know.. they were the worst and best thing to happen to each other.

what do you think they would have been like today?? personality, looks, attitude, views on the world, etc.

More mature versions of their teenage selves, haha. If they, by some miracle, made it through high school and somehow didn’t kill others/themselves at a later stage.. here’s my thoughts on what they’d be like today:

I think that Eric might’ve mellowed out a bit, learned to curb his rage a little, although he’d still blow up at something that pissed him off immensely. He’d be one of those people sitting in front of the TV ranting at whatever program he was watching at the time. xD I think he would’ve been really kind and funny and loving to people he liked, but that he would also be quite difficult to live with because he still wouldn’t take to perceived slights/rejection kindly. I can’t see him work a job in corporate or any job where he’d be a slave to the system, though. He’d need to be his own boss, or as close to independence as he could possibly get. If game design was freelance-based, that’d be something.. or anything else into which he could pour his ideas and creativity, really.. =) And, hey, I really think he would’ve been a pretty good dad if he ever settled down enough to have a family. (If not, though, I’m willing to bet he would’ve been the best uncle to his brother’s kids.) I can see him leave his clothing choices behind and sobering up to a more common style. Plus, he’d probably have a tiny bald patch already because that seems to run in his family. 😉

Dylan’s a little different in my mind. I think that he would’ve done well in pretty much any profession that challenged his mind and accepted his outlandish ideas. Perhaps something more on the technical side, though. (Maybe he could’ve worked on inventions similar to the rising techie side of phones and computers and such? Seemed to be his thing.) I think he’d still appear as a little eccentric in looks and dress, although I think he’d tone it down if it was asked of him. I don’t really think Dylan’d pay much attention to his image and would just do whatever he felt like doing. I think he might struggle to hold down a relationship because he seemed to be the type of guy who’d just put you on a pedestal and have some ideal in his head for you to live up to. With the right person, sure, that could’ve worked.. but I think his moodiness was part and parcel of him and would’ve been a struggle to handle. He’d just not care about the world so much, I think? I think he’d be really warm and gentle with the people who somehow got his respect, though. He’d go to the ends of the earth for them.

OKAY ERIC AND DYLAN ARE HANGING OFF A CLIFF…. YOU CAN ONLY SAVE ONE.. WHO DO YOU PICK??? GO GO GO.

DROP ‘EM BOTH.

(No, seriously, Eric and Dylan are a bit of a package deal right? It’d feel weird to have one but not the other. xD)

When you first got into Columbine case, what type of emotions did you feel? :o

Sadness for all affected by this event, anger at how the boys handled their shit, and actually quite a bit of shock when I began to make sense of what they’d written before and recognised so much.

Are there any specific things that Eric or Dylan said/wrote that you agree with?

I could quote half their writings to you as something I agree with or find recognition in. =) To give you a general idea..

Dylan’s philosophies on existence and life and everything else are not necessarily things I agree with or feel good about thinking, but they are things that have been in my own head for a long time now. =) His struggle to make sense of humanity is the most recognisable part in his writings for me. (I usually have to be pretty careful not to focus on that bit too much, because the whole ‘superiority to mankind’-thing is big enough as it is already..) Parts that are harder to recognise for me, now, are the parts where he goes on and on about ‘his love’.

Eric’s writings are just one agreement after the other for me when he’s not singling out one group of people or getting to ridiculous levels of violence. I don’t quite agree with his process of natural selection, haha. I’d never quite expected to agree with him so much, but the biggest part of his ‘I hate’-list is what I could’ve written and his view on society’s one I generally agree with as well. His frustration with the stupidity that runs rampant in our world is a breath of fresh air. Plus, we both have a huge problem with people telling us what to do so any rant of his on that subject is agreement on my part. My sense of humour’s quite similar to his as well.

Can you make a detailed list of what they did during the massacre from beginning to end and the times of the things they did?? When you have time. Thanks in advance!!

A Columbine Site has a great event-page that may be very interesting to you.

There is also the CNN narrative timeline that’s a pretty comprehensive overview.

And here’s another timeline from a well-researched site you may want to check out.

The events/times that correspond in all three are the ones you can take away as being the most likely to have happened at that point in time. =) Cross-reference everything in the above and you have the probable main timeframe for the events of that day. (I might have to drag up Tim Krabbé’s timeline of events when I have the time to translate it, though, so that’s definitely something I’ll look into for you.)

I hope this is enough for you to go on for now! =)